|
~/\Mythology Survival/\~ (My Second Roleplay)
| |
| Supernerd | Date: Friday, 2011-09-30, 7:13 PM | Message # 1 |
 A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| Most people dont believe in mythology....most people think its just a joke, a simple thought that somebody just made up, just so they can have a couple laughs!...Hehe, It does give me a laugh, if only they knew...They are real, Vampires, Werewolves, Dragons, all of it, and who am i to state such an opinion? I am one; one, that i shall not say...I only have one thing to say, If you become one...then lets just say life sucks for you. All of the problems there are...We're almost as ignorant as those humans...we have wars, sure, we have enemies, friends, truces, but most just try to survive...from ourselves.
~ Human Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Bio:
~Vampire Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Bio:
Wings?(optional):
How long have you been a vampire?:
~Werewolf Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Wolf Description:
How long have you been a Werewolf?:
~Other Character Sheet~ (please send a message about what your "other" is for approval)
----------------------------------
Reviews
~Equinox~
Story:3/5
I understand that it's a survival of the fittest story, but it needed more detail honestly. Maybe the goal is to gather and unite all brethren and enemies together, to take back the modern world from the humans? Something? It needs some kind of goal for the story, and overall.... more story!
Grammar:3/5
Honestly, were all those periods necessary? It needed some spacing and less periods, and if you plan on someone talking, for it to have quotations marks around it, but overall, you did pretty well. You capitalized most words, you gave a bit of a back story on the guy at least, which made it more interesting to read. But honestly, those periods everywhere costed you a whole point.
Character detail:3.2/5
I like the way you mysteriously developed the speaker in the story, but also your own character description is pretty excellent itself, along with the CS. 3.2 seems like a close vote.
Plot Development:2/5
Not too much of a plot, but it had SOME development, thus it deserves SOME points.
Overall rating:3.5/5
Honestly, this is my complete and honest input here. It's pretty good for your first one in a long time, but it needs a good bit of work. Don't worry, all great writers will always need to improve somehow.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
|
| |
| |
| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 9:08 PM | Message # 61 |
|
A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (My character is sorta being a hippocrit lol) I remained silent staring at her...then gritted my teeth"Stop with the exaggerations!"
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
|
| |
| |
| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 9:10 PM | Message # 62 |
 ※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (xD)
"Trust me.. Im not exagerating. I was born in hell"
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
|
| |
| |
| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 9:12 PM | Message # 63 |
|
A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| I sniffed the air..she did smell weird...Abnormal..in ways. "Then what are you?" I asked, smirking, trying to seem unconcerned.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
|
| |
| |
| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 9:14 PM | Message # 64 |
|
A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (lol im multi-tasking between facebook and here,)
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
|
| |
| |
| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 9:15 PM | Message # 65 |
|
※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| "A demon, obviously. My father is Hades. And you know what? Me and Hades are both in your presence. But we both appear as ONE being" I pointed to myself. "And I do realize I'm freely giving you this information. But I know you wont last long"
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
|
| |
| |
| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 9:20 PM | Message # 66 |
|
A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| I stared at her..the edges of my lips twitched, absorbing what she said. "So why are you attacking me then? We are different sure, but once again we are alike, we dont like god and their holy water and crap," I said smirking.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
|
| |
| |
| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 9:22 PM | Message # 67 |
|
※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| "True... That stuff is pure shit" I growled. I looked up. "But I'm aware you have orders to kill me and afew other beasts aswell"
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
|
| |
| |
| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 9:26 PM | Message # 68 |
|
A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| I stayed quiet, then laughed. "I am not going for Assholes like you at my rank, i am going for the Werewolves. And Werepyres... and i think one that is half human, half vampire..But definitely not Demons," demons...wow, this is amazing...this is something the dark lord has to know...
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
|
| |
| |
| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 9:28 PM | Message # 69 |
|
※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| "If you didnt realize, I'm a demon Werepyre..."
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
|
| |
| |
| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 9:35 PM | Message # 70 |
|
A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| I remained silent, my muscles tensed..how the hell am i supposed to defeat her..."..." I lunged at her, swinging my left foot towards her legs and as i spun i used my right elbow, heading to her gut.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
|
| |
| |
| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 9:36 PM | Message # 71 |
|
※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| I backflipped, my legs kicking his elbow away in the process. I landed on my feet, glaring at him. "So now you wanna fight, eh?"
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
|
| |
| |
| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 9:38 PM | Message # 72 |
|
A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| "To gain up a few ranks, why not?" I smirked, returning the gaze easily. I then slowly took off my hoodie, revealing my wings, "Ahhh so much better..."
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
|
| |
| |
| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 9:43 PM | Message # 73 |
|
※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| I raised my eyebrows. "You know, I wont die" I grunted.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
|
| |
| |
| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 9:47 PM | Message # 74 |
|
A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| "Doesnt mean i wont try." I chuckiling under my breath.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
|
| |
| |
| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 9:50 PM | Message # 75 |
|
※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| My shape started to shift. Suddenly, I was in the form of an abnormally large black wolf with wings. (In attatchment)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
|
| |
| |
|
