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~/\Mythology Survival/\~ (My Second Roleplay)
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| Supernerd | Date: Friday, 2011-09-30, 7:13 PM | Message # 1 |
 A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| Most people dont believe in mythology....most people think its just a joke, a simple thought that somebody just made up, just so they can have a couple laughs!...Hehe, It does give me a laugh, if only they knew...They are real, Vampires, Werewolves, Dragons, all of it, and who am i to state such an opinion? I am one; one, that i shall not say...I only have one thing to say, If you become one...then lets just say life sucks for you. All of the problems there are...We're almost as ignorant as those humans...we have wars, sure, we have enemies, friends, truces, but most just try to survive...from ourselves.
~ Human Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Bio:
~Vampire Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Bio:
Wings?(optional):
How long have you been a vampire?:
~Werewolf Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Wolf Description:
How long have you been a Werewolf?:
~Other Character Sheet~ (please send a message about what your "other" is for approval)
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Reviews
~Equinox~
Story:3/5
I understand that it's a survival of the fittest story, but it needed more detail honestly. Maybe the goal is to gather and unite all brethren and enemies together, to take back the modern world from the humans? Something? It needs some kind of goal for the story, and overall.... more story!
Grammar:3/5
Honestly, were all those periods necessary? It needed some spacing and less periods, and if you plan on someone talking, for it to have quotations marks around it, but overall, you did pretty well. You capitalized most words, you gave a bit of a back story on the guy at least, which made it more interesting to read. But honestly, those periods everywhere costed you a whole point.
Character detail:3.2/5
I like the way you mysteriously developed the speaker in the story, but also your own character description is pretty excellent itself, along with the CS. 3.2 seems like a close vote.
Plot Development:2/5
Not too much of a plot, but it had SOME development, thus it deserves SOME points.
Overall rating:3.5/5
Honestly, this is my complete and honest input here. It's pretty good for your first one in a long time, but it needs a good bit of work. Don't worry, all great writers will always need to improve somehow.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Friday, 2011-10-14, 8:00 PM | Message # 241 |
 ※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| "Speak for yourself" I snarled. My voice sounded like it was coming from every direction.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Friday, 2011-10-14, 8:06 PM | Message # 242 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| I swore as i walked deeper into the cave. Muttering curses along the way. "Come out brisk....Come one...I just wanna have a water gun fight." I chuckled lightly.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Friday, 2011-10-14, 8:09 PM | Message # 243 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| From where I was, I rolled my eyes. Rather demonicly, I hissed "Now now, dont be so arrogant, kid" my voice was once again sounding as if it were everywhere.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Friday, 2011-10-14, 8:11 PM | Message # 244 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| "Well, its just a kid game, and your being a poor sport right now, " I said as i got even deeper into the cave, more aware this time.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Friday, 2011-10-14, 8:12 PM | Message # 245 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| Suddenly, the exit caved in. It was my doing. I extended my claws, my teeth and eyes glowing in the pitch black darkness. "Ahh, darkness. My domain"
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Friday, 2011-10-14, 8:15 PM | Message # 246 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| That was when i now flinched, i gripped the gun tighter than ever. "Ha...hehe, Trying to scare me huh? Well good luck!" I said in an ever not so convincing tone.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Friday, 2011-10-14, 8:17 PM | Message # 247 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| "Oh? You arent scared?"
"How about now?" I asked. I was suddenly behind him. I traced my claw against is cheek. "You arent scared? Why dont you rethink that?"
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Friday, 2011-10-14, 8:19 PM | Message # 248 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| I shuddered, gripped the gun harder, "GET AWAY FROM ME!" I spun in a circle, each time i did i shot in different directions.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Friday, 2011-10-14, 8:21 PM | Message # 249 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| However, I had dissapeared in a gust of black flames, reappearing in another location in the cave. I dodged his attempts to shoot. "You know, you could run out of your precious holy water.."
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Friday, 2011-10-14, 8:23 PM | Message # 250 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| Now my gun was shaking, my gun still felt heavy, which was good, it still meant that it was still more than 3/4 full. "You really are something from hell y'know..."
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Friday, 2011-10-14, 8:24 PM | Message # 251 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| "I think I know that" I smirked.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Friday, 2011-10-14, 8:32 PM | Message # 252 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| "Leave me alone!!!" I said as i backed up, slowly, having no idea where i was in the cave, all i knew was that i headed straight, so as long i kept backing up straight, i would be fine.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Friday, 2011-10-14, 8:33 PM | Message # 253 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| He bumped into me. "Why hello there"
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Friday, 2011-10-14, 8:35 PM | Message # 254 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| "GET AWAY YOU ASSHOLE!" I turned around, firing. Breathing heavily.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Friday, 2011-10-14, 8:39 PM | Message # 255 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| One shot skimmed my fur, burning some off. "Hmph. You burnt my fur" I tilted my head to the side, stepping out of his aim. "You'll pay for that"
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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