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~/\Mythology Survival/\~ (My Second Roleplay)
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| Supernerd | Date: Friday, 2011-09-30, 7:13 PM | Message # 1 |
 A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| Most people dont believe in mythology....most people think its just a joke, a simple thought that somebody just made up, just so they can have a couple laughs!...Hehe, It does give me a laugh, if only they knew...They are real, Vampires, Werewolves, Dragons, all of it, and who am i to state such an opinion? I am one; one, that i shall not say...I only have one thing to say, If you become one...then lets just say life sucks for you. All of the problems there are...We're almost as ignorant as those humans...we have wars, sure, we have enemies, friends, truces, but most just try to survive...from ourselves.
~ Human Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Bio:
~Vampire Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Bio:
Wings?(optional):
How long have you been a vampire?:
~Werewolf Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Wolf Description:
How long have you been a Werewolf?:
~Other Character Sheet~ (please send a message about what your "other" is for approval)
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Reviews
~Equinox~
Story:3/5
I understand that it's a survival of the fittest story, but it needed more detail honestly. Maybe the goal is to gather and unite all brethren and enemies together, to take back the modern world from the humans? Something? It needs some kind of goal for the story, and overall.... more story!
Grammar:3/5
Honestly, were all those periods necessary? It needed some spacing and less periods, and if you plan on someone talking, for it to have quotations marks around it, but overall, you did pretty well. You capitalized most words, you gave a bit of a back story on the guy at least, which made it more interesting to read. But honestly, those periods everywhere costed you a whole point.
Character detail:3.2/5
I like the way you mysteriously developed the speaker in the story, but also your own character description is pretty excellent itself, along with the CS. 3.2 seems like a close vote.
Plot Development:2/5
Not too much of a plot, but it had SOME development, thus it deserves SOME points.
Overall rating:3.5/5
Honestly, this is my complete and honest input here. It's pretty good for your first one in a long time, but it needs a good bit of work. Don't worry, all great writers will always need to improve somehow.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Zyphon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-15, 5:24 PM | Message # 271 |
 The Flying Penguin
Group: Administrators
Messages: 100536
Status: Offline
| ~~Dark~~
"Right... So is that just the end of my quest? That ended faster than expected."
Flying Penguins
The world would be a better place if they existed.
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| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-15, 8:01 PM | Message # 272 |
 ※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (Waitin for Super)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-16, 0:59 AM | Message # 273 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| My gun continued to shake..."What are you going to do?...."I gritted my teeth, i was annoyed, i was scared, i was embarrassed, i was embarrassed about that fact that she was just toying with me.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-16, 7:52 AM | Message # 274 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| "Oh.... A possibly farmiliar word to you... Payback" I hissed.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-16, 11:49 AM | Message # 275 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| "GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE YOU BITCH! YOU HEARTLESS SHIT! I HOPE YOU DIE IN THE SLOWEST, MOST PAINFUL WAY AND THEN GET TOSSED INTO A PIT OF FIRE!" I yelled, veins popping out of my neck in anger as i shot some more of the holy water.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-16, 12:54 PM | Message # 276 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| I sighed, shaking my head. "Do you have ADD or something?"
(Not trying to offend anyone that has it. I have it to :/)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-16, 3:43 PM | Message # 277 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| "SHUTUP!" I screamed, as i fired randomly some more, until i heard no more holy water hit the ground....i was out. and i just realised i surronded myself with holy water.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-16, 3:44 PM | Message # 278 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| I smirked. "Not so bright, are you?" My voice kept echoing through the cave.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
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| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-16, 4:39 PM | Message # 279 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| "Just...just stop it...please" I said, shaking even harder as i dropped my watergun.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-16, 4:43 PM | Message # 280 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| I sighed. "You brought this upon yourself, kid. YOU went and blabbed about me to your master. So, naturally, I expect something in return"
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-16, 5:51 PM | Message # 281 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| "What do you want in return?! I-i'll do anything! Just let me go!" I wailed.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-16, 6:25 PM | Message # 282 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| I shook my head, sighing. "Calm down kid, Im not going to kill you! Honestly, I dont know what I want in return. And Im sure as hell not gonna kill someone weaker than me... People like that actually deserve to rot in hell... Me, I was cursed to it. Sure, I like scaring people..." I chuckled abit at the end. "But Im not going to hurt you"
(Its the nice side of Brisk :D)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Monday, 2011-10-17, 0:36 AM | Message # 283 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (XD)
"That doesnt mean ur going to hurt me, its called torture" I said sharply, slowly sitting down, and pressed my hands to my forehead in thought. I should've never done this mission...no reward for me...
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Monday, 2011-10-17, 2:11 PM | Message # 284 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| I sighed. "Once again, its fun to scare people. But dont think I'm going to leave you alone... Sure, you can call me a stalker"
(XDXDXD)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Monday, 2011-10-17, 9:46 PM | Message # 285 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| I sat there silent, still rubbing my temples with my fingers in thought...what was i thnking of? I honestly didnt know. "please..." I said in a whisper. "Let me go....you have nothing to do with my mission.." I was in a mode of defeat...i couldnt take it anymore.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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