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~/\Mythology Survival/\~ (My Second Roleplay)
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| Supernerd | Date: Friday, 2011-09-30, 7:13 PM | Message # 1 |
 A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| Most people dont believe in mythology....most people think its just a joke, a simple thought that somebody just made up, just so they can have a couple laughs!...Hehe, It does give me a laugh, if only they knew...They are real, Vampires, Werewolves, Dragons, all of it, and who am i to state such an opinion? I am one; one, that i shall not say...I only have one thing to say, If you become one...then lets just say life sucks for you. All of the problems there are...We're almost as ignorant as those humans...we have wars, sure, we have enemies, friends, truces, but most just try to survive...from ourselves.
~ Human Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Bio:
~Vampire Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Bio:
Wings?(optional):
How long have you been a vampire?:
~Werewolf Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Wolf Description:
How long have you been a Werewolf?:
~Other Character Sheet~ (please send a message about what your "other" is for approval)
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Reviews
~Equinox~
Story:3/5
I understand that it's a survival of the fittest story, but it needed more detail honestly. Maybe the goal is to gather and unite all brethren and enemies together, to take back the modern world from the humans? Something? It needs some kind of goal for the story, and overall.... more story!
Grammar:3/5
Honestly, were all those periods necessary? It needed some spacing and less periods, and if you plan on someone talking, for it to have quotations marks around it, but overall, you did pretty well. You capitalized most words, you gave a bit of a back story on the guy at least, which made it more interesting to read. But honestly, those periods everywhere costed you a whole point.
Character detail:3.2/5
I like the way you mysteriously developed the speaker in the story, but also your own character description is pretty excellent itself, along with the CS. 3.2 seems like a close vote.
Plot Development:2/5
Not too much of a plot, but it had SOME development, thus it deserves SOME points.
Overall rating:3.5/5
Honestly, this is my complete and honest input here. It's pretty good for your first one in a long time, but it needs a good bit of work. Don't worry, all great writers will always need to improve somehow.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Tuesday, 2011-10-18, 1:52 PM | Message # 286 |
 ※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| "You really dont get it... Do you? I will follow you. And if you are about to do something bad, I'll stop you. You'll end up in Hell if you keep it up"
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Tuesday, 2011-10-18, 8:43 PM | Message # 287 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| I then broke out laughing. "Of course i wont be holy! Im a vampire! Remember?!" I continued to laugh.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Zyphon | Date: Wednesday, 2011-10-19, 4:52 AM | Message # 288 |
 The Flying Penguin
Group: Administrators
Messages: 100536
Status: Offline
| (...And yet Dark is holy... Or at least, not unholy.)
Flying Penguins
The world would be a better place if they existed.
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| Demon | Date: Wednesday, 2011-10-19, 1:32 PM | Message # 289 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| "I really dont find that funny" I snarled. "Imagine being put in my shoes. I've lived in hell for more than half my life, and my father just had to be fuckin Hades..." I froze at the last part I said. I hadnt mentioned THAT part to him yet... I laughed nervously.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Wednesday, 2011-10-19, 8:06 PM | Message # 290 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| I raised an eyebrow, even though it was pitch dark. "Hades? As in THE GOD Hades?"
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Thursday, 2011-10-20, 2:02 PM | Message # 291 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| I sighed, knowing theres no way out of it. "Ya... Thats him. I call him dad" I grunted.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Thursday, 2011-10-20, 10:32 PM | Message # 292 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| My eyes widened as i said nothing..then after a moment a silence. "Get me out of here." I said firmly.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Zyphon | Date: Friday, 2011-10-21, 5:11 AM | Message # 293 |
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The Flying Penguin
Group: Administrators
Messages: 100536
Status: Offline
| ~~Dark~~
"...I suppose I should be away form here before some random human comes by and sees my hands covered in blood and then the dead bodies and slowly makes the connection."
Flying Penguins
The world would be a better place if they existed.
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| Demon | Date: Friday, 2011-10-21, 1:53 PM | Message # 294 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| I sighed. "Nobody cares about my feelings. They just stay away from me... For the reason I just told you. I used to being alone..." I grumbled, swimming in my own thoughts.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Zyphon | Date: Friday, 2011-10-21, 6:21 PM | Message # 295 |
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The Flying Penguin
Group: Administrators
Messages: 100536
Status: Offline
| (...I really wish something woudl happen soon.)
Flying Penguins
The world would be a better place if they existed.
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-22, 2:21 AM | Message # 296 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (Don't worry.)
"Brisk, get me out, NOW. I'm surronded by holy water here@" , not daring to move, cause of the holy water still on the ground.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-22, 8:24 AM | Message # 297 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| "Didnt think of that..." I mumbled. I leapt into the air, grabbing the collar of his shirt between my teeth, and lifting him off the ground. I dropped him at the exit, and smashed an opening. "Im still gonna follow you" I laughed.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-22, 10:14 AM | Message # 298 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| I didn't answer, i was already out the doorway running, running for my prey. (Dun dun dunnnn XD)
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-22, 3:43 PM | Message # 299 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (XD)
I sighed, and glided calmly after him. I really wasnt expecting him to stay. I anticipated him running.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-23, 0:44 AM | Message # 300 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| I sniffed the air. Dark was here....somewhere, it was slowly becoming stronger...yet i couldn't help but not look behind me once and a while, seeing the Demon follow me.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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