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~/\Mythology Survival/\~ (My Second Roleplay)
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| Supernerd | Date: Friday, 2011-09-30, 7:13 PM | Message # 1 |
 A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| Most people dont believe in mythology....most people think its just a joke, a simple thought that somebody just made up, just so they can have a couple laughs!...Hehe, It does give me a laugh, if only they knew...They are real, Vampires, Werewolves, Dragons, all of it, and who am i to state such an opinion? I am one; one, that i shall not say...I only have one thing to say, If you become one...then lets just say life sucks for you. All of the problems there are...We're almost as ignorant as those humans...we have wars, sure, we have enemies, friends, truces, but most just try to survive...from ourselves.
~ Human Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Bio:
~Vampire Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Bio:
Wings?(optional):
How long have you been a vampire?:
~Werewolf Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Wolf Description:
How long have you been a Werewolf?:
~Other Character Sheet~ (please send a message about what your "other" is for approval)
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Reviews
~Equinox~
Story:3/5
I understand that it's a survival of the fittest story, but it needed more detail honestly. Maybe the goal is to gather and unite all brethren and enemies together, to take back the modern world from the humans? Something? It needs some kind of goal for the story, and overall.... more story!
Grammar:3/5
Honestly, were all those periods necessary? It needed some spacing and less periods, and if you plan on someone talking, for it to have quotations marks around it, but overall, you did pretty well. You capitalized most words, you gave a bit of a back story on the guy at least, which made it more interesting to read. But honestly, those periods everywhere costed you a whole point.
Character detail:3.2/5
I like the way you mysteriously developed the speaker in the story, but also your own character description is pretty excellent itself, along with the CS. 3.2 seems like a close vote.
Plot Development:2/5
Not too much of a plot, but it had SOME development, thus it deserves SOME points.
Overall rating:3.5/5
Honestly, this is my complete and honest input here. It's pretty good for your first one in a long time, but it needs a good bit of work. Don't worry, all great writers will always need to improve somehow.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Supernerd | Date: Friday, 2011-09-30, 7:23 PM | Message # 2 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| ~Vampire Character Sheet~
Gender:Male
Name:Isaac
Age:16
Description:Isaac is 5"10' and has a scrawny build, but is quite stronger than he looks, Isaac is chalk white pale, He has Deep brown eyes that seem to look straight through you, he has black eyebrows that are creased downward slightly towards his nose, giving him a serious look, Isaac also has thin pale red lips, that always seemed to be in a smirk, with medium long Midnight black hair that goes naturally over his right eye, He wears a black hoodie with his hood pulled up to hide his face, he also wears black skinny jeans with black shoes, with white at the tips.
Bio: Isaac was born and raised in a vampire academy, and has impressed many vampires by his skill in fighting and training techniques, and learned the techniques the quickest out of the vampires.
Wings?(optional): Small crude black wings, they seem tough and strong but they're actually quite delicate
How long have you been a vampire?: 16 years.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Striker | Date: Friday, 2011-09-30, 10:00 PM | Message # 3 |
 The Helper Admin
Group: Administrators
Messages: 2464
Status: Offline
| (Welcome back.)
~Werewolf Character Sheet~
Gender: Male
Name: Cravius
Age: Unknown
Description: I assume this means appearance. In human form, he is tall and burly, and wears blue jeans as well as a white T-shirt. He looks about 32, has blue eyes and black hair.
Wolf Description: Tall and burly in wolf form as well as human, Cravius stands at 7'3 in this form, and, with jet-black fur and eyes to match, is even stronger than before.
How long have you been a Werewolf?: Since birth.
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 0:42 AM | Message # 4 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (whoops, your right XD And Thanks, i started to miss roleplaying, so here i am, and accepted, but first, you havent mentioned about his facial features or your wolfs fur color or anyting. So do that then accepted)
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 7:49 AM | Message # 5 |
 ※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (Fuck it, Im gonna make Brisk a werepyre this time. XD)
Gender: Female
Name: Brisk
Age: Unknown
Description: You should know full well what she looks like XD
Wolf Description: In attatchment
How long have you been a Werepyre: Since birth
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 10:21 AM | Message # 6 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (lol i only mentioned dragon in the beginning for u Lol, and accepted)
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 10:33 AM | Message # 7 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (its accepted demon, but the red light or whatever on the wolf and extra tail is no..)
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Zyphon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 10:39 AM | Message # 8 |
 The Flying Penguin
Group: Administrators
Messages: 100536
Status: Offline
| Gender: Male
Name: ??? Dark
Age: 21
Description: Dark has long black hair that he usually wears tied back in a ponytail, he is very pale since he's a vampire, but not a pale as most vampires being half human as well. He his unaturally tall and thin, probably around 6'7". He has very sharp features giving the impression that he is an unpleasant person... Which happens to be true. He usaully wears a black trench coat, black shirt, black pants, black boots, and white gloves. His most noticable festure are crimson red eyes, which turn to an icy blue during the day.
Bio: Dark is a half vampire, his fater being a vampire and his mother a human. Although he'd never known this until the age of 10. Being half human, he didn't have to drink blood like most vampires. On his tenth birthday a vampire slayer came to his house to kill his father, even though his father was not one of the "evil" vampires, he still drank blood, but only form those who deserved to die. But that didn't matter to the vampire slayer. He'd come there to kill everyone, after killnig his mother, the vampire slayer went after Dark, but he was chased off by Dark's father... Not killed however. After that, Dark's father said he had to leave, he told Dark about him being a half-vampire and said that he would be back.
Since his father never came back, Dark know has to goals in life, kill the vampire slayer, and find his father.
Wings?(optional): No.
How long have you been a vampire?: ...Read the bio.
Flying Penguins
The world would be a better place if they existed.
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| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 10:43 AM | Message # 9 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (This website is screwing me up e_e
It keeps logging me out and lagging ._.)
(BTW Super; If its a no, then I wont last long on this thread. I'd most likely quit.
Have you forgotten who Brisk is?)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 10:49 AM | Message # 10 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (its a yes just the extra features on the wolf, like the red on the body, off, and the extra tail, u can have red eyes or whatever i dont mind that XD And Zyphon Accepted,...Lets start!)
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 10:50 AM | Message # 11 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (whoops i meant to say the extra features on the body, and the extra tail(s) is a no, but u can have red eyes.)
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 10:52 AM | Message # 12 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (Ya I was gonna say in the CS that I didnt want the huge mass of tails and the horns... But I guess I can live without the red marks XD)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
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| Zyphon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 10:59 AM | Message # 13 |
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The Flying Penguin
Group: Administrators
Messages: 100536
Status: Offline
| ~~Dark~~
It was night. The perfect time for a vampires to be out, of course, to me, it didn't matter all that much. I could go out in night or day. Although, of course I didn't have many vampires powers besides the basics.
Down in the alley below me it looked as if a woman was being mugged. Nothing out of the ordinary. Although, it probably soon would be if I got involved. I quickly jumped down from rooftop I was on and landing in between the woman and the criminal. He didn't seem all that strong and he probably didn't have any silver bullets in his gun.
"Where'd you come from?" The criminal asked in surprise, because to him it would've appeared as if I had come from the sky. Then he got over the minor shock and shot me... Or at least, he tried to. He must've been a very bad shot because the bullet didn't even come anywhere near me. He shot me again and hit, but only just. It didn't even matter though. I felt no pain as the bullets weren't silver as I had expected. He was going to shoot again, but before he could I dashed towards him and in one smooth movement, separated his head from the rest of his body with an upper cut.
Of course the woman didn't stay around to thank me, she probably thought that I was going to kill her too. She just ran. Oh well, a good deed is a good deed, whether you get thanked for saving someone's life or not. I drank the criminal's blood and then was on my way.
Flying Penguins
The world would be a better place if they existed.
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 11:01 AM | Message # 14 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| I ducked, moved swiftly left and jumped, doing a spinning kick to the face, leaving a sickening crunch to my opponent, he lay unconscious, moaning i grinned. "Finally.." I was excited, i had completed my last round of training, and now i could get my mission...I could barely stay in one spot, but my face showed no emotion whatsoever. I looked at The Dark Lord, I couldnt believe it..the The Dark Lord, The leader of the vampires, giving me a mission..."follow me..."He said icily as he swiftly turned, me following closely behind him until we were in a small room "You've done exceptionally well Isaac..." "Thank you my Lord." I said calmly, "Now..."He said, walking towards a folder on the small round table."Here is the mission.." He slid the folder across the table and i picked it up and opened it, it was the location of some of the Werewolves..Some had pictures...details, backgrounds of certain Werewolves...My eyes stopped on one of the Werewolves..Cravius. It didnt have a picture, almost no data about him at all, it only had a sketch..a sketch of a Thick Burly Werewolf.."..I want these Mutts killed, you understand Isaac?" "Yes...What shall be the reward when i do kill the werewolves?" The dark lord chuckled "Dont be too hasty isaac...Now go! Leave my presence!" I walked out of the room, out the front, and sprinted...Grinning, I had an idea who i was going to go first.."Cravius..your time has come.:
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Zyphon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 11:01 AM | Message # 15 |
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The Flying Penguin
Group: Administrators
Messages: 100536
Status: Offline
| (Wow, all the letters look like shit when I'm viewing them with Firefox. But I can't use internet explorer right now, I'm installing something right now so I can only use Firefox for the moment.)
Flying Penguins
The world would be a better place if they existed.
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