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~/\Mythology Survival/\~ (My Second Roleplay)
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| Supernerd | Date: Friday, 2011-09-30, 7:13 PM | Message # 1 |
 A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| Most people dont believe in mythology....most people think its just a joke, a simple thought that somebody just made up, just so they can have a couple laughs!...Hehe, It does give me a laugh, if only they knew...They are real, Vampires, Werewolves, Dragons, all of it, and who am i to state such an opinion? I am one; one, that i shall not say...I only have one thing to say, If you become one...then lets just say life sucks for you. All of the problems there are...We're almost as ignorant as those humans...we have wars, sure, we have enemies, friends, truces, but most just try to survive...from ourselves.
~ Human Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Bio:
~Vampire Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Bio:
Wings?(optional):
How long have you been a vampire?:
~Werewolf Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Wolf Description:
How long have you been a Werewolf?:
~Other Character Sheet~ (please send a message about what your "other" is for approval)
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Reviews
~Equinox~
Story:3/5
I understand that it's a survival of the fittest story, but it needed more detail honestly. Maybe the goal is to gather and unite all brethren and enemies together, to take back the modern world from the humans? Something? It needs some kind of goal for the story, and overall.... more story!
Grammar:3/5
Honestly, were all those periods necessary? It needed some spacing and less periods, and if you plan on someone talking, for it to have quotations marks around it, but overall, you did pretty well. You capitalized most words, you gave a bit of a back story on the guy at least, which made it more interesting to read. But honestly, those periods everywhere costed you a whole point.
Character detail:3.2/5
I like the way you mysteriously developed the speaker in the story, but also your own character description is pretty excellent itself, along with the CS. 3.2 seems like a close vote.
Plot Development:2/5
Not too much of a plot, but it had SOME development, thus it deserves SOME points.
Overall rating:3.5/5
Honestly, this is my complete and honest input here. It's pretty good for your first one in a long time, but it needs a good bit of work. Don't worry, all great writers will always need to improve somehow.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 12:58 PM | Message # 31 |
 ※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (Fuckin site logged me out again -___-
So ur saying I cant just be a werepyre? Im editing my CS. Thats all there is to it. .__.)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 1:27 PM | Message # 32 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (You can be a werepyre XD)
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 2:04 PM | Message # 33 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (K, my CS was edited :3)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 3:01 PM | Message # 34 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| i know XD)
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 3:07 PM | Message # 35 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (K)
I stood up abruptly, smelling a scent I didnt want to. After all, it was a creature whom had blood I was unable to drink. It was a vampire.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 4:28 PM | Message # 36 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| I continued running into the bushes, where was he..where was that mutt. I scowled and stopped running. I needed to sit down and think...
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 4:49 PM | Message # 37 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| The presence of the vampire slowed down. Seemed like he didnt notice me yet... I was in human form. I was thinking about something. I knew the Dark Lord had info on me, but it was mostly all fake. They had no record of my last name, and they had absolutely no record of my past. Nobody did, but myself.
I remembered the day a vampire set out to gather info on me, and when he found me, I tricked him into fake info. He tried to get into my mind, but I had held back and tricked the bloodsucker.
After all, being born from Hell, I was pretty damn clever. Those vampires, they had no idea...
I snuck up behind the vampire, leaned down, and whispered "Hello there"
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Equinox | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 5:13 PM | Message # 38 |
 Social warrior of the administration
Group: Administrators
Messages: 7183
Status: Offline
| (......
Waiting....)
~Glacial Malphite: The Shard of the Monolith~
"I hear rumors that the Shard of the Monolith is an unstoppable force. They aren't rumors."-Nausus, on the topic of Malphite's arrival.
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| Striker | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 5:32 PM | Message # 39 |
 The Helper Admin
Group: Administrators
Messages: 2464
Status: Offline
| (Edited my CS)
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 8:15 PM | Message # 40 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (accepted striker, you may now begin.)
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 8:20 PM | Message # 41 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (You gonna reply, Super?
e__e)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 8:20 PM | Message # 42 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| My eyes widened slightly in surprised and whirled around, my right fist heading to the gut, while my left hand was in a defensive positon.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 8:21 PM | Message # 43 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (yeah sorry XD)
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 8:26 PM | Message # 44 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (its fine x3)
I smirked, jumping back before he could punch me. "You know, you have a load of fake info on me"
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 8:30 PM | Message # 45 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (Umm the person i mentioned about, was Strikers characters name, not yours..or do u mean the other data listed?)
I smirked, and dashed towards her, doing a leg sweep which came into a uppercut.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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