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Forum » Standard Roleplays » Other Roleplays » ~/\Mythology Survival/\~ (My Second Roleplay) (I think im a bit rusty...lets just hope you guys like it XD)
~/\Mythology Survival/\~ (My Second Roleplay)
SupernerdDate: Friday, 2011-09-30, 7:13 PM | Message # 1
A Hater/Friend of Equinox
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Most people dont believe in mythology....most people think its just a joke, a simple thought that somebody just made up, just so they can have a couple laughs!...Hehe, It does give me a laugh, if only they knew...They are real, Vampires, Werewolves, Dragons, all of it, and who am i to state such an opinion? I am one; one, that i shall not say...I only have one thing to say, If you become one...then lets just say life sucks for you. All of the problems there are...We're almost as ignorant as those humans...we have wars, sure, we have enemies, friends, truces, but most just try to survive...from ourselves.

~ Human Character Sheet~

Gender:

Name:

Age:

Description:

Bio:

~Vampire Character Sheet~

Gender:

Name:

Age:

Description:

Bio:

Wings?(optional):

How long have you been a vampire?:

~Werewolf Character Sheet~

Gender:

Name:

Age:

Description:

Wolf Description:

How long have you been a Werewolf?:

~Other Character Sheet~ (please send a message about what your "other" is for approval)

----------------------------------
Reviews
~Equinox~

Story:3/5
I understand that it's a survival of the fittest story, but it needed more detail honestly. Maybe the goal is to gather and unite all brethren and enemies together, to take back the modern world from the humans? Something? It needs some kind of goal for the story, and overall.... more story!

Grammar:3/5
Honestly, were all those periods necessary? It needed some spacing and less periods, and if you plan on someone talking, for it to have quotations marks around it, but overall, you did pretty well. You capitalized most words, you gave a bit of a back story on the guy at least, which made it more interesting to read. But honestly, those periods everywhere costed you a whole point.

Character detail:3.2/5
I like the way you mysteriously developed the speaker in the story, but also your own character description is pretty excellent itself, along with the CS. 3.2 seems like a close vote.

Plot Development:2/5
Not too much of a plot, but it had SOME development, thus it deserves SOME points.

Overall rating:3.5/5
Honestly, this is my complete and honest input here. It's pretty good for your first one in a long time, but it needs a good bit of work. Don't worry, all great writers will always need to improve somehow.


Some say its nice to have good signatures....

Well.

.....

There you have it.
 
DemonDate: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 8:32 PM | Message # 46
※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
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(Other data... The one about me... Did you not read my longer post above?
@_@')
I put my arm out, pushing down his leg as it approached my chin.


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um
 
SupernerdDate: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 8:33 PM | Message # 47
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(oh k XD)

Some say its nice to have good signatures....

Well.

.....

There you have it.
 
DemonDate: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 8:35 PM | Message # 48
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(x3 Lol)

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SupernerdDate: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 8:35 PM | Message # 49
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I then punched with my left just as she blocked my right punch, hoping to get her off balance in any way.

Some say its nice to have good signatures....

Well.

.....

There you have it.
 
SupernerdDate: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 8:36 PM | Message # 50
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(Demon, my roleplay is sorta based on this one group on roblox XD Its called the All American Werewolves, its a pretty good roleplay group, but u litterally have to be on it constantly..)

Some say its nice to have good signatures....

Well.

.....

There you have it.
 
DemonDate: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 8:37 PM | Message # 51
※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
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(I used to be on that... But then it got so fast, I quit)

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um
 
SupernerdDate: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 8:39 PM | Message # 52
A Hater/Friend of Equinox
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(Really? i didnt know, was i roleplaying when u went on it?)

Some say its nice to have good signatures....

Well.

.....

There you have it.
 
SupernerdDate: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 8:39 PM | Message # 53
A Hater/Friend of Equinox
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(and ik, its the same reason i quit too)

Some say its nice to have good signatures....

Well.

.....

There you have it.
 
DemonDate: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 8:39 PM | Message # 54
※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Awards: 9
Status: Offline
(I was on it like... 2 years ago... So Idk...
XD)


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SupernerdDate: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 8:40 PM | Message # 55
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(Lol nvm then! and post!)

Some say its nice to have good signatures....

Well.

.....

There you have it.
 
DemonDate: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 8:41 PM | Message # 56
※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
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I threw his leg down, and quickly lifted my own and spun, attempting to kick his face.

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SupernerdDate: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 8:53 PM | Message # 57
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My eyes widened in surprise as her foor went into my cheek, lifting me up into the air and falling to the ground. I gritted my teeth...breathing heavily.

Some say its nice to have good signatures....

Well.

.....

There you have it.
 
DemonDate: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 8:59 PM | Message # 58
※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
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I smirked lightly. "You have no idea who I am.."

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SupernerdDate: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 9:01 PM | Message # 59
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"I think i have a firm idea, I think your a bitch, with a cocky attitude!" I said calmy, getting up from the ground, i was a bit sore, but not that much for me to notice too greatly.

Some say its nice to have good signatures....

Well.

.....

There you have it.
 
DemonDate: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 9:03 PM | Message # 60
※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
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I raised an eyebrow, un-affected by his words. "I've gone through hell. Litterally. Im not cocky. Im experienced"

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