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~/\Mythology Survival/\~ (My Second Roleplay)
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| Supernerd | Date: Friday, 2011-09-30, 7:13 PM | Message # 1 |
 A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| Most people dont believe in mythology....most people think its just a joke, a simple thought that somebody just made up, just so they can have a couple laughs!...Hehe, It does give me a laugh, if only they knew...They are real, Vampires, Werewolves, Dragons, all of it, and who am i to state such an opinion? I am one; one, that i shall not say...I only have one thing to say, If you become one...then lets just say life sucks for you. All of the problems there are...We're almost as ignorant as those humans...we have wars, sure, we have enemies, friends, truces, but most just try to survive...from ourselves.
~ Human Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Bio:
~Vampire Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Bio:
Wings?(optional):
How long have you been a vampire?:
~Werewolf Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Wolf Description:
How long have you been a Werewolf?:
~Other Character Sheet~ (please send a message about what your "other" is for approval)
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Reviews
~Equinox~
Story:3/5
I understand that it's a survival of the fittest story, but it needed more detail honestly. Maybe the goal is to gather and unite all brethren and enemies together, to take back the modern world from the humans? Something? It needs some kind of goal for the story, and overall.... more story!
Grammar:3/5
Honestly, were all those periods necessary? It needed some spacing and less periods, and if you plan on someone talking, for it to have quotations marks around it, but overall, you did pretty well. You capitalized most words, you gave a bit of a back story on the guy at least, which made it more interesting to read. But honestly, those periods everywhere costed you a whole point.
Character detail:3.2/5
I like the way you mysteriously developed the speaker in the story, but also your own character description is pretty excellent itself, along with the CS. 3.2 seems like a close vote.
Plot Development:2/5
Not too much of a plot, but it had SOME development, thus it deserves SOME points.
Overall rating:3.5/5
Honestly, this is my complete and honest input here. It's pretty good for your first one in a long time, but it needs a good bit of work. Don't worry, all great writers will always need to improve somehow.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 9:55 PM | Message # 76 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| I stared at her..at the werepyre that was in front of me...i knew i was outmatched...i slowly crouched down and grabbed my hoodie, and scowled, and darted off into the bush.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 9:57 PM | Message # 77 |
 ※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| I snarled. He wasnt getting away yet... I wanted a good fight. I stetchd my wings, taking off quickly after him.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 10:00 PM | Message # 78 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| I ducked under branches and jumped over large rocks and logs, I went into the thicker brush, I looked up, i could barely see the sky, ..it was getting brighter out.."oh no.." I took a sharp right.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 10:03 PM | Message # 79 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| The sun also affected Werepyres, unfortunately. But for me, I only had to return to human form and hide until the sun rose. The only things that bothered me was sunrise and sunset. Daytime didnt affect me, not as much. I was weaker during the day, but still able to walk out. I cursed, and stopped my chase.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 10:06 PM | Message # 80 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| i sprinted harder and harder, i couldnt make it to the castle..not from here, i looked around frantically,...i then gazed up at the mountains, there stood a cave. "That was convienient," I muttered as i sprinted hard then jumped, spreading my wings as i glided upwards, occasionally flapping at certain times.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 10:09 PM | Message # 81 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| However, that was the cave I inhabited. And it was the first thing I went to. I was already inside.
(Dun dun dun XD)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 10:11 PM | Message # 82 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (lol) I landed softly on the hard rock, worn out and tired as i walked inside..it was dark..perfect, just what i needed...
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 10:15 PM | Message # 83 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| I heard someone land in my cave. I opened my eyes. My blood red eyes pierced the darkness, glowing unnaturaully.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 10:16 PM | Message # 84 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| i walked in, and could see something red glowing..there were two of them..."Hello?..." I said calmly, walking deeper inside.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 10:18 PM | Message # 85 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| "So its you?" I growled, obviously not pleased.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 10:23 PM | Message # 86 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| I groaned slightly "Your kidding me...fuck!" I stared at the red eyes..."Whats your name...?" I said, cautiously, being aware in case she attacked me.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 10:25 PM | Message # 87 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| "Brisk. And now, I have the right to ask for your own"
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Saturday, 2011-10-01, 10:32 PM | Message # 88 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| "My name is Isaac...and i wont harm you..as long as you dont harm me...got it?" i said, gazing at the sun shining brightly out the entrance.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 6:51 AM | Message # 89 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| "Deal" I grumbled. I stared up at the sun, and growled abit, closing my eyes.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Equinox | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 7:55 AM | Message # 90 |
 Social warrior of the administration
Group: Administrators
Messages: 7183
Status: Offline
| (Werepyres usually have immunity to the sun, as long as they have plenty of auxiliary blood, and they don't have a human form.)
Walking through the shadows...
Burning down meadows...
Crushing teams...
And ruining dreams...
I am a werepyre...
This is all I do...
It's all I can do...
Because the humans deserve it.
~Glacial Malphite: The Shard of the Monolith~
"I hear rumors that the Shard of the Monolith is an unstoppable force. They aren't rumors."-Nausus, on the topic of Malphite's arrival.
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