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~/\Mythology Survival/\~ (My Second Roleplay)
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| Supernerd | Date: Friday, 2011-09-30, 7:13 PM | Message # 1 |
 A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| Most people dont believe in mythology....most people think its just a joke, a simple thought that somebody just made up, just so they can have a couple laughs!...Hehe, It does give me a laugh, if only they knew...They are real, Vampires, Werewolves, Dragons, all of it, and who am i to state such an opinion? I am one; one, that i shall not say...I only have one thing to say, If you become one...then lets just say life sucks for you. All of the problems there are...We're almost as ignorant as those humans...we have wars, sure, we have enemies, friends, truces, but most just try to survive...from ourselves.
~ Human Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Bio:
~Vampire Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Bio:
Wings?(optional):
How long have you been a vampire?:
~Werewolf Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Wolf Description:
How long have you been a Werewolf?:
~Other Character Sheet~ (please send a message about what your "other" is for approval)
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Reviews
~Equinox~
Story:3/5
I understand that it's a survival of the fittest story, but it needed more detail honestly. Maybe the goal is to gather and unite all brethren and enemies together, to take back the modern world from the humans? Something? It needs some kind of goal for the story, and overall.... more story!
Grammar:3/5
Honestly, were all those periods necessary? It needed some spacing and less periods, and if you plan on someone talking, for it to have quotations marks around it, but overall, you did pretty well. You capitalized most words, you gave a bit of a back story on the guy at least, which made it more interesting to read. But honestly, those periods everywhere costed you a whole point.
Character detail:3.2/5
I like the way you mysteriously developed the speaker in the story, but also your own character description is pretty excellent itself, along with the CS. 3.2 seems like a close vote.
Plot Development:2/5
Not too much of a plot, but it had SOME development, thus it deserves SOME points.
Overall rating:3.5/5
Honestly, this is my complete and honest input here. It's pretty good for your first one in a long time, but it needs a good bit of work. Don't worry, all great writers will always need to improve somehow.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 7:08 PM | Message # 106 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| It was dark out now..i grinned and looked across the room at Brisk, and darted towards her, my fists raised.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Zyphon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 7:13 PM | Message # 107 |
 The Flying Penguin
Group: Administrators
Messages: 100536
Status: Offline
| ~~Dark~~
"............." I kept walking.
"..........................Where the hell am I even going?"Added (2011-10-02, 10:13 PM)
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~~Dark~~
I came to an area of the forest where it looked as if there had been a fight. Possibly between a Vampire and a... Well, something that was entirly different than anything I knew about.
Flying Penguins
The world would be a better place if they existed.
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| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 7:16 PM | Message # 108 |
 ※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| I opened an eye. "Dont even try" I growled.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
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| Zyphon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 7:20 PM | Message # 109 |
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The Flying Penguin
Group: Administrators
Messages: 100536
Status: Offline
| (...I have nothing else to post...)
Flying Penguins
The world would be a better place if they existed.
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| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 7:22 PM | Message # 110 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (Im waitin for Super...)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
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| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 7:24 PM | Message # 111 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (dont worry, i'll give you some action Zyphon..but im sorta gonna have to ditch Demon lol)
I gritted my teeth...since my plan was faultered, i turned and ran, jumping off and i spread out my wings, diving into the trees, i landed with a thud, and quickly put on my hoodie, hiding my wings..I needed to go for someone else..someone else that was on the list...I dug my hand in my right pocket and pulled it out, and looked through the files, "ah, the half vamp kid.." I grinned.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 7:25 PM | Message # 112 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (.___.
Or Zyphon could find us both, so there would be no ditching
.___.)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
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| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 7:26 PM | Message # 113 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (umm demon..I may have just ditched you lol)
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 7:26 PM | Message # 114 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (Theres an edit button -_-)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
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| Zyphon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 7:27 PM | Message # 115 |
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The Flying Penguin
Group: Administrators
Messages: 100536
Status: Offline
| ~~Dark~~
A vampire was near. I wasn't sure whether I should be worried or not... No vampire would have a reason to attack me... Or at least, I didn't think they would, but it would still probably be better to try and avoid them.
Flying Penguins
The world would be a better place if they existed.
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| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 7:31 PM | Message # 116 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (or i can still just ditch you lol)
I walked into the forest..i didnt know if this kid would have full sense of his vampire abilities, or not, especially for sensing...i had to try it anyways, i was now near him, i put my hood up and ran, like a horrified person would do, looking back, glimpsing once and a while, i was heading toward the kid. "Run! Theres something behind me!" I went faster, getting closer and closer to him.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 7:32 PM | Message # 117 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (Its not smart to ditch people in an RP. Or they will keep following you. *Hint Hint*)
I snarled, and leapt to my feet. "He isnt taking THAT info with him" I sprinted on all fours after him.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
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| Zyphon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 7:32 PM | Message # 118 |
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The Flying Penguin
Group: Administrators
Messages: 100536
Status: Offline
| (...What? ._.)
Flying Penguins
The world would be a better place if they existed.
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| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 7:34 PM | Message # 119 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (Late posts are failures.
Edit buttons are saviors.)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
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| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 7:34 PM | Message # 120 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (i agree with zyphon....uummm Demon, werent you in a cave..lieing down..and you werent close to me....annndd i was thick in the brush so how could u have possibly seen me, yet alone see the info?)
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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