|
~/\Mythology Survival/\~ (My Second Roleplay)
|
|
| Supernerd | Date: Friday, 2011-09-30, 7:13 PM | Message # 1 |
 A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| Most people dont believe in mythology....most people think its just a joke, a simple thought that somebody just made up, just so they can have a couple laughs!...Hehe, It does give me a laugh, if only they knew...They are real, Vampires, Werewolves, Dragons, all of it, and who am i to state such an opinion? I am one; one, that i shall not say...I only have one thing to say, If you become one...then lets just say life sucks for you. All of the problems there are...We're almost as ignorant as those humans...we have wars, sure, we have enemies, friends, truces, but most just try to survive...from ourselves.
~ Human Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Bio:
~Vampire Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Bio:
Wings?(optional):
How long have you been a vampire?:
~Werewolf Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Wolf Description:
How long have you been a Werewolf?:
~Other Character Sheet~ (please send a message about what your "other" is for approval)
----------------------------------
Reviews
~Equinox~
Story:3/5
I understand that it's a survival of the fittest story, but it needed more detail honestly. Maybe the goal is to gather and unite all brethren and enemies together, to take back the modern world from the humans? Something? It needs some kind of goal for the story, and overall.... more story!
Grammar:3/5
Honestly, were all those periods necessary? It needed some spacing and less periods, and if you plan on someone talking, for it to have quotations marks around it, but overall, you did pretty well. You capitalized most words, you gave a bit of a back story on the guy at least, which made it more interesting to read. But honestly, those periods everywhere costed you a whole point.
Character detail:3.2/5
I like the way you mysteriously developed the speaker in the story, but also your own character description is pretty excellent itself, along with the CS. 3.2 seems like a close vote.
Plot Development:2/5
Not too much of a plot, but it had SOME development, thus it deserves SOME points.
Overall rating:3.5/5
Honestly, this is my complete and honest input here. It's pretty good for your first one in a long time, but it needs a good bit of work. Don't worry, all great writers will always need to improve somehow.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
|
| |
| |
| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 8:01 AM | Message # 91 |
 ※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (For Brisk, she has to avoid sunrise and sunset. She's alot more used to the dark, hence coming from Hell.)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
|
| |
| |
| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 12:42 PM | Message # 92 |
|
A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (Thast what i thought too..i just didnt judge XD)
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
|
| |
| |
| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 12:44 PM | Message # 93 |
|
A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (Well, i mean i agree with Equi)
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
|
| |
| |
| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 12:46 PM | Message # 94 |
|
A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| I sighed and sat down and waited, quietly, staring at a single spot in on the ground..conserving my energy, keeping myself calm, and ready for the night.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
|
| |
| |
| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 12:50 PM | Message # 95 |
|
※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| "Well, this is just abit awkward. Enemies trusting eachother? I find it wierd"
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
|
| |
| |
| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 1:04 PM | Message # 96 |
|
A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| ".." All i did was grunt, inside my head, i was frustrated, my brain racking for options on how to kill her...I need to start with someone easier..a regular mutt..thats what i need.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
|
| |
| |
| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 1:25 PM | Message # 97 |
|
※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| I sighed, closing my eyes once again.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
|
| |
| |
| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 1:35 PM | Message # 98 |
|
A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| "If your from hell..." I said, still staring at one spot, "Then why did you come up here?..."
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
|
| |
| |
| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 2:15 PM | Message # 99 |
|
※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| "Its really gloomy down there, obviously. And, I was banished."
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
|
| |
| |
| Equinox | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 3:28 PM | Message # 100 |
 Social warrior of the administration
Group: Administrators
Messages: 7183
Status: Offline
| SHICK
"Out of my way you worthless maggot humans! Your leader took something from me, that I plan to get back!" I yell, sliding the body of a human off my claws.
"I'm not in the mood for your shit you little gunslingers!"
~Glacial Malphite: The Shard of the Monolith~
"I hear rumors that the Shard of the Monolith is an unstoppable force. They aren't rumors."-Nausus, on the topic of Malphite's arrival.
|
| |
| |
| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 3:35 PM | Message # 101 |
|
※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (e____e
Waitin for Super)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
|
| |
| |
| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 4:17 PM | Message # 102 |
|
A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| I smirked, "Congratulations," Still looking down on the ground and looked up, it was slowly becoming into the afternoon.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
|
| |
| |
| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 4:21 PM | Message # 103 |
|
※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| I opened one eye. "I suppose your leaving?"
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
|
| |
| |
| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 4:44 PM | Message # 104 |
|
A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| "I can't yet, i would burn..i have to wait until its fully night...Or, if im lucky, a bunch of clouds come and block the sun." I slowly got up...i was sore, stiff, and i was still slightly on edge.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
|
| |
| |
| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 4:57 PM | Message # 105 |
|
※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| "Hn" I mumbled, carelessly closing my eyes again.
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
|
| |
| |
