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~/\Mythology Survival/\~ (My Second Roleplay)
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| Supernerd | Date: Friday, 2011-09-30, 7:13 PM | Message # 1 |
 A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| Most people dont believe in mythology....most people think its just a joke, a simple thought that somebody just made up, just so they can have a couple laughs!...Hehe, It does give me a laugh, if only they knew...They are real, Vampires, Werewolves, Dragons, all of it, and who am i to state such an opinion? I am one; one, that i shall not say...I only have one thing to say, If you become one...then lets just say life sucks for you. All of the problems there are...We're almost as ignorant as those humans...we have wars, sure, we have enemies, friends, truces, but most just try to survive...from ourselves.
~ Human Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Bio:
~Vampire Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Bio:
Wings?(optional):
How long have you been a vampire?:
~Werewolf Character Sheet~
Gender:
Name:
Age:
Description:
Wolf Description:
How long have you been a Werewolf?:
~Other Character Sheet~ (please send a message about what your "other" is for approval)
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Reviews
~Equinox~
Story:3/5
I understand that it's a survival of the fittest story, but it needed more detail honestly. Maybe the goal is to gather and unite all brethren and enemies together, to take back the modern world from the humans? Something? It needs some kind of goal for the story, and overall.... more story!
Grammar:3/5
Honestly, were all those periods necessary? It needed some spacing and less periods, and if you plan on someone talking, for it to have quotations marks around it, but overall, you did pretty well. You capitalized most words, you gave a bit of a back story on the guy at least, which made it more interesting to read. But honestly, those periods everywhere costed you a whole point.
Character detail:3.2/5
I like the way you mysteriously developed the speaker in the story, but also your own character description is pretty excellent itself, along with the CS. 3.2 seems like a close vote.
Plot Development:2/5
Not too much of a plot, but it had SOME development, thus it deserves SOME points.
Overall rating:3.5/5
Honestly, this is my complete and honest input here. It's pretty good for your first one in a long time, but it needs a good bit of work. Don't worry, all great writers will always need to improve somehow.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 8:19 PM | Message # 136 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| i stared at her as she counted down..then i realised she was giving me time to run, i turned and sprinted, heading towards the castle, it would take me 15 minutes to get there..or less. (Try not to ditch Zyphon, make a fweinship or somethin :3)
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 8:20 PM | Message # 137 |
 ※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (Fweinship...
Fweinship no exist in Brisks world :3
XD
Or does it? o_o)
I stopped counting down, enjoying the look on his face as he ran. I turned to the vampire. "So who are you?"
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
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| Equinox | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 8:22 PM | Message # 138 |
 Social warrior of the administration
Group: Administrators
Messages: 7183
Status: Offline
| (Just to avoid confusion in my later posts, I posted at the bottom of the last page.)
~Glacial Malphite: The Shard of the Monolith~
"I hear rumors that the Shard of the Monolith is an unstoppable force. They aren't rumors."-Nausus, on the topic of Malphite's arrival.
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| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 8:25 PM | Message # 139 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (k, also, equi, send me your answers for that riddle XD)
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 8:27 PM | Message # 140 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (XD
Nice post...
Pleasant...)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
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| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 8:33 PM | Message # 141 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (DANGIT! Equi send the answer(s) again, i accidently deleted it. T_T)
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 8:34 PM | Message # 142 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (XD
Of course u did)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
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| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 8:35 PM | Message # 143 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (no i seriously did lol I was clearing my messages, and i didnt realise that i clicked the one he sent me)
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 8:35 PM | Message # 144 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (Wooow..)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
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| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 8:39 PM | Message # 145 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (ik T_T)
I sprinted hard towards the Castle, i had to let The Dark Lord know of Brisk...i had to! I ran harder and harder.
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Equinox | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 8:40 PM | Message # 146 |
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Social warrior of the administration
Group: Administrators
Messages: 7183
Status: Offline
| (No problem dude.)
(And yes demon, it is very pleasant. Unchained A got me pumped up for some bloody violence.)
~Glacial Malphite: The Shard of the Monolith~
"I hear rumors that the Shard of the Monolith is an unstoppable force. They aren't rumors."-Nausus, on the topic of Malphite's arrival.
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| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 8:43 PM | Message # 147 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| (XD
Im not suprised. For you, thats pleasant.)
(Now I have to wait for Zyphon T_T)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
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| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 8:52 PM | Message # 148 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| (XD) I ran up the steps, and slowed down to a walking pace as i ran opened the door and walked inside, heading straight towards The Dark Lords Headquarters, and burst into the room "My lord!..." I said, looking him in the eyes, "Some of your info you gave me..for me to kill..its wrong!" The Dark Lord raised an eyebrow "How? We used one of our top vampires to collect the data." "I dont know how! Brisk, In the data says she is a Werepyre, which is correct, but shes from Hell! Apparently banished!" The Dark Lord stared at me...remaining silent, after a minute or two he said. "You shall not go for her....i shall take her off you list, and leave it for higher ranked vampires later on in the future....now begone! I need to think of some things.. now go back out there and fulfill your duties.." "Yes m'lord..." I backed out of the room...and headed to the front doors again...
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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| Demon | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 8:54 PM | Message # 149 |
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※You shouldnt anger me. ಠ_ಠ※
Group: Administrators
Messages: 9627
Status: Offline
| I sighed, knowing my info was probablly already corrected. "Im gonna kill that little bitch" I growled to myself.
(Gtg soon)
ಠ_ಠ (づ ￣ ³￣)づ
um
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| Supernerd | Date: Sunday, 2011-10-02, 9:19 PM | Message # 150 |
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A Hater/Friend of Equinox
Group: Special
Messages: 3145
Status: Offline
| I walked outside, and back into the forst.."Now back to the half vamp kid..."
Some say its nice to have good signatures....
Well.
.....
There you have it.
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