~/\Mythology Survival/\~ (My Second Roleplay) - Page 21

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Forum » Standard Roleplays » Other Roleplays » ~/\Mythology Survival/\~ (My Second Roleplay) (I think im a bit rusty...lets just hope you guys like it XD)

~/\Mythology Survival/\~ (My Second Roleplay)

Supernerd

Date: Friday, 2011-09-30, 7:13 PM | Message # 1

A Hater/Friend of Equinox

Group: Special

Messages: 3145

Awards: 3

Status: Offline

Most people dont believe in mythology....most people think its just a joke, a simple thought that somebody just made up, just so they can have a couple laughs!...Hehe, It does give me a laugh, if only they knew...They are real, Vampires, Werewolves, Dragons, all of it, and who am i to state such an opinion? I am one; one, that i shall not say...I only have one thing to say, If you become one...then lets just say life sucks for you. All of the problems there are...We're almost as ignorant as those humans...we have wars, sure, we have enemies, friends, truces, but most just try to survive...from ourselves.

~ Human Character Sheet~

Gender:

Name:

Age:

Description:

Bio:

~Vampire Character Sheet~

Gender:

Name:

Age:

Description:

Bio:

Wings?(optional):

How long have you been a vampire?:

~Werewolf Character Sheet~

Gender:

Name:

Age:

Description:

Wolf Description:

How long have you been a Werewolf?:

~Other Character Sheet~ (please send a message about what your "other" is for approval)

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Reviews
~Equinox~

Story:3/5
I understand that it's a survival of the fittest story, but it needed more detail honestly. Maybe the goal is to gather and unite all brethren and enemies together, to take back the modern world from the humans? Something? It needs some kind of goal for the story, and overall.... more story!

Grammar:3/5
Honestly, were all those periods necessary? It needed some spacing and less periods, and if you plan on someone talking, for it to have quotations marks around it, but overall, you did pretty well. You capitalized most words, you gave a bit of a back story on the guy at least, which made it more interesting to read. But honestly, those periods everywhere costed you a whole point.

Character detail:3.2/5
I like the way you mysteriously developed the speaker in the story, but also your own character description is pretty excellent itself, along with the CS. 3.2 seems like a close vote.

Plot Development:2/5
Not too much of a plot, but it had SOME development, thus it deserves SOME points.

Overall rating:3.5/5
Honestly, this is my complete and honest input here. It's pretty good for your first one in a long time, but it needs a good bit of work. Don't worry, all great writers will always need to improve somehow.

Some say its nice to have good signatures....

Well.

.....

There you have it.