Story: 7/10

Grammar: 8/10

Originality: 3/10

Effort: 8/10

Character Sheet: 9/10

Overall Rating: 7.5/10

Review: The story was written pretty well, and I really have nothing to say other than it was a better than average storyline. As for grammar, there were a few run on sentences and at one point you used 'brake' instead 'break'. As for originality, there wasn't very much... Mutant RPs are very much overused. As for character sheet, it was pretty much perfect, except you didn't put 'Gender'. But it is still a pretty good RP, and better than I'd expect for just your second one.

 

~Zyphon, The Flying Penguin