Story: 9/10

Grammar: 8/10

Originality: 9/10

Effort: 10

Character Sheet: 10/10

Review: The story for this RP was very well written, but in one spot it got a bit, "fuzzy". This mainly being becasue of grammar issuses, but it also affects the score for story.  There were a few grammatical errors in the beginning, and a small amount near the end, but not to much of a problem. I've seen a few RPs like this one, but this RP did it in a way to make it original, good job. And as for effort and character sheet, 10 out of 10 for both. This appears to be a very good RP, and I hope to see it go on for a fairly long time.